Most of what I now remember of the scarf is related to an idea of art and the contingency of the object. But beyond that it was always a disappointment to wear it because I absolutely adored the thing but could never pull it off because I never know how to wear scarves and it was really longer than I thought it should have been. I remember it being very warm and yet very itchy. I don’t clearly recall it being made or when I received it and I am also not entirely aware of when exactly it was taken back.
I started knitting in the fall of my first semester away at college. It took me nearly the entire semester to complete it. I can’t even remember now if I gave it to him for Christmas or his birthday in March. It wouldn’t surprise me if it took me the entire winter.
Maroon and gray, I don’t know for sure why these were the colors I chose for him. I think at some point in our first year together he mentioned that maroon was his favorite color, or maybe they reminded me of him, or maybe he just wore those colors a lot. I wanted it to be perfect. I remember it taking forever because I was knitting so tightly, not allowing my hands or the needles much freedom to move. It is too long. I don’t know why I made it so long. I knitted it while we were separated by the state of Massachusetts. I think I imagined him taller than he was.
I operated under the assumption that nice gifts would make things better. I gave it to him and he wore it a couple of times, maybe feeling the pressure to use what I made for him, but it mostly hung in his room much longer than his other scarves which got much more use during cold months. I eventually decided to reclaim the object after our romantic relationship had ended.